I have learned so many lessons over the years from my grandson. I am in awe of his grace, his poise, his fearlessness, and his talent. I’ve silently watched him play the role of family peacemaker, big brother, “man of the family” and observer of life. He has the ability to take the best from his parents’ qualities and try them out while learning to make them his own.
Ben is the oldest of our eldest daughter’s three children. For many years, through his mother and father’s separation, divorce and subsequent remarriages, he was an only child. That put him front and center in the spotlight of two sets of parents. He ably negotiated mine fields in two houses mediating and pleasing and emerging as his own person. Soon the attention shifted. He became a middle child. Two brothers in one household and two sisters in another with many years difference between them. Rather than competing for attention he gracefully found his own way.
Both Ben’s parents are artists. His father, a former actor-turned general contractor, is skilled with his hands. He’s an accomplished woodworker and sculpture and Ben has surely developed his artistic eye. He’s so visual in his approach to life, seeing everything in terms of pictures. His mother, an award-nominated actress at a young age who now coaches actors, is not only frighteningly intelligent but also creative and articulate. Ben’s ability as a young filmmaker to tell visual stories with a unique voice certainly draws from this part of his mother’s character. His ability to garner the love and devotion of his young brothers and sisters is also a testament to the loving, nurturing qualities he possesses.
My grandson has also taught me to let go of judgment and look deeper at the more important things under the surface. Ben is an extraordinary skateboarder. Did I just catch you in a moment of judgment? Do you have a preconceived idea of the skateboard culture? I admit I did. Now I understand it for what it is and I have great admiration. I see the fearlessness and the skill. I see the camaraderie and the community support. I see interaction between generations as the original skateboarders pass down their skill and tricks to the new generation of skaters.
Clearly I am proud of Ben. For me he stands as a reminder for all the good our youth embody. When I swell with pride for him, I can’t help but think that he mirrors the millions of teens world-wide whose own uniqueness is making our world a better place. It is heartening in times when our news media screams out with the reports of violence and underachieving teenagers and the doom ahead. I only have to think of Ben and I know better!
Today is Ben’s 16th birthday. I spoke with him a little while ago. Instead of “hotrodding” on the highways he was at the skate park practicing his newest jumps. Soon he’ll head home for a birthday dinner with his whole family. So Ben, today your grandfather and I wish you a very happy birthday. May you continue to grow strong, skate with precision, speak to the world through your films, and love your family.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEN.
