I live in an area where most parents are college educated and it isn’t unusual to hear them talking about their kids college aspirations ad nauseum. Usually as you listen it becomes apparent that it is probably more the parents’ desire and less the child’s and the parents’ conversation tends to become more agitated as their student gets older and closer to the goal and hasn’t quite bought into the search. I believe that most of the time the anxiety comes from not having started talking about college naturally and early enough. In my opinion it also comes from what I call “prize” thinking.
Prize thinking to me is when going to college becomes more about the prestigious name than the fit. This was really brought home to me just recently when I was sitting at dinner with someone who asked me if I thought Cal Poly was a good school. His grandson has just entered the class of 2013.
For all who know it, Cal Poly with its two California campuses, is an excellent state school that emphasizes collaborative experiential learning. However, like all colleges and universities its tier one standing was earned in certain disciplines, not all, and it ranks so because of the faculty and the profile of its students. It is not the right school for everyone but the answer to the question is, “Yes, Cal Poly is a great school.” Perhaps the better question is, “for whom?”
If you’ve been reading my blogs for any length of time you know that I tend to harp on the idea that there is a right school and a right fit for every student. I believe that with every fiber of my being. There are so many factors that come into play in the selection process. That is why I believe it is important to start thinking about college – not the admissions process – early on. Everyone tends to focus on being prepared for the admissions process; the PSATs, the SATs, the ACTs, taking the right courses, accumulating a college bound resume, etc. In other words all the things you hear about when your child hits her/his junior year in high school. Those things are inevitable.
The true preparation for college begins much earlier. It starts when your student begins school. It means whetting their appetite for inquisitive learning, worrying less about grades (that doesn’t mean they’re not important) and more about the knowledge being gained. Talk about college. Let them know about your experience and others. Look at a wide variety of colleges and universities in many parts of the country. As your child explores different interests in their life, expose them to different colleges, maybe even researching schools with them.
Help your child to understand that higher education is just the next natural step in continuing education. Something we all want to do to stay abreast of the times and current in our thinking. It is something artists continue to do all of their lives. Developing a craft takes constant toil but is not drudgery.
When progression follows natural expectation then all of the steps necessary to succeed will be there. If a child starts thinking about college in elementary and middle school and has already acquired a taste for learning, then appropriate grades will not become an issue. When the pursuit is knowledge then learning is fun and good grades tend to follow. Even when the stakes are high the journey shouldn’t be arduous when you start early enough.
